Doing Favors Makes YOU Like THEM
Common sense tells us: we do favors for people we like. But Benjamin Franklin discovered something backwards:
In other words: doing a favor for someone makes YOU like THEM more, not the other way around. This seems absurd—shouldn't helping someone you dislike make you resent them more?
In 1969, psychologists Jecker and Landy ran an experiment that proved Franklin right. When participants did a personal favor for an unlikeable researcher, they rated him higher than those who did nothing.
Imagine you're a participant in a psychology study...
You've just completed a quiz contest with cash prizes. During the experiment, you noticed Dr. Marcus was cold, dismissive, and somewhat rude. He barely made eye contact and seemed impatient with your questions.
You won $20 in the contest. You're about to leave when...
How much do you like Dr. Marcus right now?
Dr. Marcus approaches you directly, looking uncomfortable.
"Excuse me... I have an awkward request. I've been funding these prize payouts from my own pocket, and I'm running short. Would you be willing to return the $20? It would really help me out personally."
What do you do?
Now, how much do you like Dr. Marcus?
Your initial rating:
In the original study, 74 participants completed a quiz contest with cash prizes. The lead researcher deliberately acted cold and unpleasant throughout. After the contest, participants were divided into three groups:
The stunning result: Doing the researcher a personal favor made participants like him MORE—even though he'd been rude to them! And critically, when a third party made the request, the effect disappeared.
Your Brain's Logic:
This is cognitive dissonance in action. When our actions contradict our attitudes, something has to give. It's easier to change how we feel about someone than to admit we did something irrational.
Franklin himself used this deliberately. When he had a rival in the Pennsylvania legislature, he didn't try to ingratiate himself. Instead, he asked to borrow a rare book from the man's library. After returning it with a thank-you note, the man became one of Franklin's closest allies.
Ask a difficult colleague for advice on something they know well. The act of helping you will improve their attitude toward you.
Instead of offering to help newcomers, ask them for small favors. This makes them feel valued AND increases their liking of you.
Letting your partner do things for you isn't selfish—it deepens their emotional investment and attachment to the relationship.
Ask students to help explain concepts to each other. The helpers develop more positive attitudes toward both subject and peers.
The Ben Franklin Effect reveals something profound: our attitudes often follow our actions, not the other way around. We don't just help people because we like them—we like people because we help them.
This has implications for character development: want to become more generous? Start acting generously, and the feelings will follow. Want to care more about a cause? Get involved in it. Action shapes attitude.